Film Review: “Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves” (2023)

Posted on April 5, 2023 Tagged 2023, action, Chris Pine, dungeons dragons, fantasy, film, film review, movie review, movie theater, movies with skeletonsLeave a comment

FAQS about Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Do Chris Pine’s eyes do that thing they do?
You bet they do.

Is it a delightful romp through the legendary tabletop world of D&D that captures the chemistry and chaotic energy of a group of almost -friends completing a campaign?
Yeah.

Are there spooky skeletons?
Oh yeah. Hundreds of inanimate ones, and some resurrected almost-skeletal dead folks. It will be hard to top in terms of sheer skeletal numbers this year.

Is there an uncanny library?
Not really, but there is one library.

Where is Detective Pikachu 2?
Thank you for your questions.

Film Review: “John Wick Chapter 4” (2023)

Posted on March 28, 2023March 28, 2023 Tagged 2023, action, Donny yen, film, film noir, franchise, john wick, keanu reeves, movie review, movie theaters, stuntLeave a comment

“Those who cling to death…”

John Wick never had to go as hard as it does, but it continues to anyway with a deep respect for its bonkers world building, its characters, its dogs, its action and its indulgent, decadent runtime with the arcade-inspired Chapter 4.

There are some skeleton tattoos, but nothing too spooky. Countless folks begin their journeys towards skeletonhood

My VHS cover pull-quote: “When he’s done murdering everyone, John Wick should open a dog rescue.”

Film Review: “Creed III”

Posted on March 9, 2023April 17, 2023 Tagged 2023, Apollo Creed, creed, film, Michael b Jordan, movie review, RockyLeave a comment

“If Apollo Creed can give an underdog a shot, why can’t you?”

There’s one memorable skeleton in Creed III, but no Italian Stallions. Also, it’s a refreshing permutation of the Rocky formula with a bit of Cape Fear and some Street Fighter style combo heavy boxing. Jonathan Majors is even more menacing and magnetic as a man without Kang powers.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Rocky died on the way back to his home planet of Italy.”

Film Review: “Knock at the Cabin” (2023)

Posted on February 18, 2023April 17, 2023 Tagged 2023, apocalyptic Rupert grint, Bautista, film, horror, movie review, movies, shyamalan, thriller, wweLeave a comment

There are skeleton drawings in Knock at the Cabin, but not enough. Also, it’s an assured, tight-knit, cabin in the woods pilgrimage to expected Shyamalan-esque ideas about conviction, but the effective guiding hands of Dave Bautista and co. make it thrilling and effective. Loses stars because I would sacrifice myself immediately if Bautista asked.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “If Ron Weasley was right there with him? Come on, I’m doing exactly whatever they want in that situation. No questions asked. That’s too bizarre of a combo to NOT have the world be ending.”

Film Review: “Infinity Pool” (2023)

Posted on January 29, 2023January 29, 2023 Tagged 2023, Alexander Skarsgard, analog, body horror, Cronenberg, film, film review, horror, movie review, synth, writer, writingLeave a comment

“A shitty book, six years ago, that no one read”

A malevolent, analog nightmare that continues last year’s horror pattern of casting our gaze on the rich. Above all, though, it illustrates the importance of supporting small writers like the main character (and me) lest they end up in a wretched crucible of events orchestrated by a member of the Cronenberg clan.

Indeed, Alexander Skarsgard is a small writer with a “shitty book, six years ago, that no one read” playing wealthy with his wife’s money, and because of this, a synthwave mix of gore, sex and The White Lotus befalls him. Read the books of the local writers in your life. You will be saving us from such a fate.

Someone has a skull tattoo and someone else gets their head bashed in, so you can see their skull. No full skeletons.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Or perhaps we deserve such a fate. Either way:
https://nickperilli.com/cul-de-sac/.”

Film Review: “SKINAMARINK” (2023)

Posted on January 17, 2023 Tagged 2023, film, film review, horror, lofi, movie review, movie theater, moviesLeave a comment

“Why is mommy crying?”

A distant, unknowable lo-fi horror about the corners, angles, and childhood shadows of our homes. An effectively terrifying detour somewhere on the path from The Blair Witch Project to Paranormal Activity. An aesthetic in which something lurks in the fuzz.

There are no skeletons.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Someone brought a child to the showing I was in, so I wasn’t sure when the child making noise and screaming was real or onscreen. It honestly added to the experience.”

Film Review: “Puss in Boots: The Last Wish” (2022)

Posted on December 30, 2022 Tagged 2022, action, animated, animation, cinema, comedy, film, film review, movie review, movie theaters, puss in boots, ShrekLeave a comment

“Don’t you know that I’m dead inside?”

There are various instances skeleton imagery and one character who becomes a skeleton in Puss in Boots: The Last Wish. Also, it’s a kinetic quest western that recaptures some of that Shrek 2 magic in the franchise and provides yet another gorgeous showcase for DreamWorks’ new, superior, and anime-inspired 2D/3D animation style.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “The connections to Shrek are more concrete than in the last one, to say the least, so perhaps Shrek 5 is looming on the horizon. Sorry, I mean 5hrek

Film Review: “Avatar: The Way of Water” (2022)

Posted on December 27, 2022 Tagged 2022, action, avatar, avatar The Way of Water, fantasy, film, film review, James Cameron, movie review, sci-fi, science fictionLeave a comment

Hamlet (1599)

James Cameron pulls Moby Dick, Free Willy, and Chrono Cross philosophy into his sci-fantasy Fern Gully sandbox spectacle, descending back into the depths of the ocean where he belongs to tell an effective, safe story about family that looks fantastic.

Avatar: The Way of Water has only ONE skeleton, but it’s the best looking computer generated, high frame rate skeleton you’ll ever see.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “The indelible cultural footprint left by the first Avatar is people saying the first Avatar hasn’t left any indelible cultural footprint.”

Film Review: “The Fabelmans” (2022)

Posted on December 11, 2022December 11, 2022 Tagged 1970s, 2022, biopic, cinema, drama, film, movie review, movie theaters, review, spielbergLeave a comment

There IS a classic, old Hollywood style skeleton in The Fabelmans.

Also, it’s an accomplished and autobiographical recounting of events in Steven Spielberg’s life through his assured Amblin lens. An unflinching yet oddly wholesome family drama about the recipe for an artist. A “one for them, one for me” parable with an unforgettable, brilliant finale cameo.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Seth Rogen: Homewrecker.”

Film Review: “Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery” (2022)

Posted on November 30, 2022November 30, 2022 Tagged 2022, action, Agatha Christie, comedy, Daniel Craig, film, glass Onion, knives out, movie theater, movies, mystery, rian Johnson, star warsLeave a comment

“This is your last chance to back out.”

There are no skeletons in Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery.

A bigger, slightly broader yet still clever variation of the original, itself a variation of the Agatha Christie form, which is itself a variation of a variation on a variation, etc. etc. layers and onions. Daniel Craig is once again a fountain of put-on southern hokum.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “The setting and some of the shots of it are so James Bond it just had to be on purpose. Also, Angela Lansbury (spoiler) plays Among Us. It may have been the last thing she did before passing.”

Nick Perilli

Tag: film