John Wick never had to go as hard as it does, but it continues to anyway with a deep respect for its bonkers world building, its characters, its dogs, its action and its indulgent, decadent runtime with the arcade-inspired Chapter 4.
There are some skeleton tattoos, but nothing too spooky. Countless folks begin their journeys towards skeletonhood
My VHS cover pull-quote: “When he’s done murdering everyone, John Wick should open a dog rescue.”
Scream 6 is a meta slasher riff on the Fast & Furious franchise with a bleeding, Sydney-sized hole in its gut. But that leaves room for the core four to make their marks and assume their rightful places as the leads of the Screamiverse as it takes Manhattan. It takes place on Halloween, so there ARE spooky skeletons aplenty.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Dermot Mulroney shines as a new silver fox Dewey.”
“If Apollo Creed can give an underdog a shot, why can’t you?”
There’s one memorable skeleton in Creed III, but no Italian Stallions. Also, it’s a refreshing permutation of the Rocky formula with a bit of Cape Fear and some Street Fighter style combo heavy boxing. Jonathan Majors is even more menacing and magnetic as a man without Kang powers.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Rocky died on the way back to his home planet of Italy.”
There are no skeletons in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, though ants have exoskeletons so that’s sort of an outside skeleton that’s in the movie. Also, it’s a quantum MCU Star War that loses the scrappy charm of the other Ant-Man movies in service of a grand effects heavy blockbuster and the genuine introduction of an appealing villain we’ll be Kanging out with for another few years.
The emotional sincerity, as well as the humor, integral to the Ant-Man piece of the MCU Pie are thankfully maintained.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Bill Murray is Lando Calrissian. Jonathan Majors is Darth Vader. MODOK is Boba Fett. Chidi from The Good Place IS C-3PO.
There are skeleton drawings in Knock at the Cabin, but not enough. Also, it’s an assured, tight-knit, cabin in the woods pilgrimage to expected Shyamalan-esque ideas about conviction, but the effective guiding hands of Dave Bautista and co. make it thrilling and effective. Loses stars because I would sacrifice myself immediately if Bautista asked.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “If Ron Weasley was right there with him? Come on, I’m doing exactly whatever they want in that situation. No questions asked. That’s too bizarre of a combo to NOT have the world be ending.”
A malevolent, analog nightmare that continues last year’s horror pattern of casting our gaze on the rich. Above all, though, it illustrates the importance of supporting small writers like the main character (and me) lest they end up in a wretched crucible of events orchestrated by a member of the Cronenberg clan.
Indeed, Alexander Skarsgard is a small writer with a “shitty book, six years ago, that no one read” playing wealthy with his wife’s money, and because of this, a synthwave mix of gore, sex and The White Lotus befalls him. Read the books of the local writers in your life. You will be saving us from such a fate.
Someone has a skull tattoo and someone else gets their head bashed in, so you can see their skull. No full skeletons.
A distant, unknowable lo-fi horror about the corners, angles, and childhood shadows of our homes. An effectively terrifying detour somewhere on the path from The Blair Witch Project to Paranormal Activity. An aesthetic in which something lurks in the fuzz.
There are no skeletons.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Someone brought a child to the showing I was in, so I wasn’t sure when the child making noise and screaming was real or onscreen. It honestly added to the experience.”
There are various instances skeleton imagery and one character who becomes a skeleton in Puss in Boots: The Last Wish. Also, it’s a kinetic quest western that recaptures some of that Shrek 2 magic in the franchise and provides yet another gorgeous showcase for DreamWorks’ new, superior, and anime-inspired 2D/3D animation style.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “The connections to Shrek are more concrete than in the last one, to say the least, so perhaps Shrek 5 is looming on the horizon. Sorry, I mean 5hrek
James Cameron pulls Moby Dick, Free Willy, and Chrono Cross philosophy into his sci-fantasy Fern Gully sandbox spectacle, descending back into the depths of the ocean where he belongs to tell an effective, safe story about family that looks fantastic.
Avatar: The Way of Water has only ONE skeleton, but it’s the best looking computer generated, high frame rate skeleton you’ll ever see.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “The indelible cultural footprint left by the first Avatar is people saying the first Avatar hasn’t left any indelible cultural footprint.”