Tag: 2023

Film Review: “Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves” (2023)

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FAQS about Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Do Chris Pine’s eyes do that thing they do?
You bet they do.

Is it a delightful romp through the legendary tabletop world of D&D that captures the chemistry and chaotic energy of a group of almost -friends completing a campaign?
Yeah.

Are there spooky skeletons?
Oh yeah. Hundreds of inanimate ones, and some resurrected almost-skeletal dead folks. It will be hard to top in terms of sheer skeletal numbers this year.

Is there an uncanny library?
Not really, but there is one library.

Where is Detective Pikachu 2?
Thank you for your questions.

Film Review: “John Wick Chapter 4” (2023)

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“Those who cling to death…”

John Wick never had to go as hard as it does, but it continues to anyway with a deep respect for its bonkers world building, its characters, its dogs, its action and its indulgent, decadent runtime with the arcade-inspired Chapter 4.

There are some skeleton tattoos, but nothing too spooky. Countless folks begin their journeys towards skeletonhood

My VHS cover pull-quote: “When he’s done murdering everyone, John Wick should open a dog rescue.”

Film Review: Scream VI (2023)

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“We’re in a franchise!”

Scream 6 is a meta slasher riff on the Fast & Furious franchise with a bleeding, Sydney-sized hole in its gut. But that leaves room for the core four to make their marks and assume their rightful places as the leads of the Screamiverse as it takes Manhattan. It takes place on Halloween, so there ARE spooky skeletons aplenty.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Dermot Mulroney shines as a new silver fox Dewey.”

Film Review: “Creed III”

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“If Apollo Creed can give an underdog a shot, why can’t you?”

CREED III (2023)

There’s one memorable skeleton in Creed III, but no Italian Stallions. Also, it’s a refreshing permutation of the Rocky formula with a bit of Cape Fear and some Street Fighter style combo heavy boxing. Jonathan Majors is even more menacing and magnetic as a man without Kang powers.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Rocky died on the way back to his home planet of Italy.”

Film Review: “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” (2023)

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“Drink the ooze!”

Multiplicity (1996)

There are no skeletons in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, though ants have exoskeletons so that’s sort of an outside skeleton that’s in the movie. Also, it’s a quantum MCU Star War that loses the scrappy charm of the other Ant-Man movies in service of a grand effects heavy blockbuster and the genuine introduction of an appealing villain we’ll be Kanging out with for another few years.

The emotional sincerity, as well as the humor, integral to the Ant-Man piece of the MCU Pie are thankfully maintained.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Bill Murray is Lando Calrissian. Jonathan Majors is Darth Vader. MODOK is Boba Fett. Chidi from The Good Place IS C-3PO.

Film Review: “Knock at the Cabin” (2023)

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There are skeleton drawings in Knock at the Cabin, but not enough. Also, it’s an assured, tight-knit, cabin in the woods pilgrimage to expected Shyamalan-esque ideas about conviction, but the effective guiding hands of Dave Bautista and co. make it thrilling and effective. Loses stars because I would sacrifice myself immediately if Bautista asked.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “If Ron Weasley was right there with him? Come on, I’m doing exactly whatever they want in that situation. No questions asked. That’s too bizarre of a combo to NOT have the world be ending.”

Film Review: “Infinity Pool” (2023)

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“A shitty book, six years ago, that no one read”

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

A malevolent, analog nightmare that continues last year’s horror pattern of casting our gaze on the rich. Above all, though, it illustrates the importance of supporting small writers like the main character (and me) lest they end up in a wretched crucible of events orchestrated by a member of the Cronenberg clan.

Indeed, Alexander Skarsgard is a small writer with a “shitty book, six years ago, that no one read” playing wealthy with his wife’s money, and because of this, a synthwave mix of gore, sex and The White Lotus befalls him. Read the books of the local writers in your life. You will be saving us from such a fate.

Someone has a skull tattoo and someone else gets their head bashed in, so you can see their skull. No full skeletons.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Or perhaps we deserve such a fate. Either way:
https://nickperilli.com/cul-de-sac/.”

Film Review: “SKINAMARINK” (2023)

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“Why is mommy crying?”

The Matrix (1999)

A distant, unknowable lo-fi horror about the corners, angles, and childhood shadows of our homes. An effectively terrifying detour somewhere on the path from The Blair Witch Project to Paranormal Activity. An aesthetic in which something lurks in the fuzz.

There are no skeletons.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Someone brought a child to the showing I was in, so I wasn’t sure when the child making noise and screaming was real or onscreen. It honestly added to the experience.”

Film Review: “M3GAN” (2023)

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“Well hold on, I thought we were having a conversation here.”

The Princess Bride (1987)

There are no human skeletons in M3GAN, but there are robot, Terminator-esque humanoid skeletons, which we can count. Also, it’s a fine, darkly comic rendition of Chucky mixed with AI gone horribly wrong in ways that would have been obvious to anyone but the characters in the movie, all told with the wonder of a screwed up child.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “The film does surprisingly little to set up the Battle Angel Alita vs Chucky vs M3GAN crossover film that we know is coming.