“I’m not saying we’re not going to get away with it, I’m saying I don’t want to get away with it.”
A matter-of-fact unraveling of multiple relationships that takes the long, chill road towards becoming the entry in a hallowed horror genre it ultimately wants to be.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “The main characters are like the high school kids who somehow all successfully escaped one horror movie, grew into their late 20s and 30s, then found themselves caught unawares in another horror movie.”
“It was a nice time. That period of time we spent together.”
A midnight meditation on death that will take me some time to parse. As of right now, mere hours from having watched this in a dark, dirt lot drive-in in New Jersey with Dolittle playing on the second screen just out of sight, part of me feels like I dreamed it.
And that’s perfect.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “I know I’m probably not going to die tomorrow, but, like, well, I feel like I might now.”
A critical and influential entry in the heist film genre that I only saw 65 years too late (as my father always said, not being born yet is no excuse). Were it not for the sour taste of aggressive misogyny in one or two scenes, I’d say this is a timeless classic heist expertly crafted in that heavy French style. But I can’t say it’s timeless because the 50s were kinda garbage. Way to go, 50s. You blew it.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “The heist scene is truly something to behold and had me reevaluating all the other heist movies I’ve seen in my life. If you haven’t seen it, go look it up on YouTube and watch it alone. I unexpectedly blurted out ‘Fuck you, George Clooney!’ right after it finished. It was like a sudden reflex. I’m wondering if you will do the same.”
“Even the weakest ghost can possess cheese easily, due to the living bacteria in the cheese.”
A sweet, fresh gem of a supernatural Irish comedy that you should watch over and over again until you vomit ectoplasm.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “This is one of those movies where a VHS cover pull-quote fits right in with the aesthetic of the film, putting a lot of weight on these VHS cover pull-quotes — elevating them, even. Like Be Kind, Rewind or V/H/S. Well, I can’t handle that weight at all. I’m buckling under it! Just see the movie! It’s one of the most charming films I’ve seen in a long time, grabbing your attention with a fine mix of Ghostbusters style antics and small bursts of bloody fun, but keeping it with the well-drawn characters and lo-fi aesthetic. Oh, shit. I did it!”
“The bottom line is, we’re all prisoners of the universe.”
An endearing, gorgeous, at times hilarious and weird epic that’s as concerned with the journeys of its central characters as it is with the hyper development and modernization of a country.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Being a low-tier member in a group of gangsters seems pretty chill, for the most part, and it may lead to a cinematic journey of soul searching for me and my destined counterpart so I fully support it as a career path.”
A fantastic enough questy comedy about brothers, a van, father legs, sons, overcoming loss, and family, featuring some pretty solid D&D references throughout.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Disney and Pixar put out Cars 2 for money, certainly, but also so that when something like Onward or The Good Dinosaur comes out, which are high quality but not UP or Coco or Wall-E levels of high quality, people will say, “well, it’s not Cars 2 so that’s nice.”
It sometimes plays like a Guy Richie’s Greatest Hits album rather than a wholly original down-in-the-dirt British crime fable, but that’s not really a bad thing. Plus, Richie strings a bit of meta commentary to his entire catalog, which is fun. Truth be told, anything would feel like a creative rebirth after being stuck in the Disney live-action remake quagmire.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Hugh Grant playing entirely against type is a bright spot, sure, but let’s not pretend Colin Farrell’s bold track suit isn’t the top reason to see this.”
Something of a C-movie spookfest that never really seems to know where it’s headed until it kind of just ends with a casual sort of “why not?” moment. Even so, the atmosphere is suitably haunting, the sets are exquisite, and the freaky kids are freaky.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “It’s set in 1994, which is important for no discernible reason other than Kurt Cobain died then? I don’t know, but more movies should be set in the 90s Grunge era. I hope it becomes more of a thing as we break away from the 1980s.”