Film Review: “Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery” (2022)

“This is your last chance to back out.”

Succession (2021)

There are no skeletons in Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery.

A bigger, slightly broader yet still clever variation of the original, itself a variation of the Agatha Christie form, which is itself a variation of a variation on a variation, etc. etc. layers and onions. Daniel Craig is once again a fountain of put-on southern hokum.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “The setting and some of the shots of it are so James Bond it just had to be on purpose. Also, Angela Lansbury (spoiler) plays Among Us. It may have been the last thing she did before passing.”

Film Review: “Jurassic World: Dominion” (2022)

“Jurassic World? Not a fan…”

A Force Awakens style adventure to cap off a series rather than begin it. A blatant and unashamed appeal to our nostalgia, our thoughts and concerns made meta through Ian Malcolm’s golden voice. Dinosaurs dinosaur.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “All we needed was Dennis Nedry’s howling ghost exacting revenge on Dodgson to make this thing perfect. Was Wayne Knight busy?”

Film Review: “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” (2019)

“Terrible job, sir!”

riseofsw

The Star Wars movies have almost always been wildly and lovingly inconsistent, so let’s all just chillaxamundo and enjoy this fairly satisfying Star War spectacular that gives us some of the best C-3PO sass lines of this or any generation.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Not as good as anything any of us watched when we were children filled with hope and optimism.”

Film Review: “Solo: A Star Wars Story” (2018)

“I have a really good feeling about this.”

Solo is a fun enough space Western with charming leads, plenty of betrayals and heists, something of an identity crisis, and some of that old school Star Wars flair. Not bad!

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Did we need to know the origins of a character whose very hook was his mystery and roguish charm? No. Do we need any movie? Probably not. Do we need anything? Or do we just want? Want to eat, want to breathe, want Star Wars movies to live up to some nebulous standard we’ve built up over years of fortifying the original series with impenetrable nostalgia? I suppose.”