Film Review: “Death on the Nile” (2022)

“Ah, love. It is unsafe.”

A lavish, downright horny, and faithful whodunnit that also becomes a sort of thesis statement for the character of Poirot. Whether or not you need to dig into a legendary detective character like him is up for debate, but I think Branagh succeeds in his attempt to do so.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “I must also bemoan the obvious use of CGI for wide shots of the setting while praising the interior sets where we spend most of our time in the film. Everything is impeccably just so in each little room we inhabit with these characters, as if the interior sets were designed by the detective himself.”

Film Review: “The Little Things” (2021)

“More sucking than biting.”

A moody detective story that feels way too much like a bargain bin Se7en until it suddenly doesn’t and deliberately pulls away from those comparisons with some telegraphed (but welcome) plot turns.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Jared Leto is definitely playing a wonky vampire in this otherwise grounded detective flick and I don’t care what you say because that just makes the movie better in my head. It also low-key takes place around Halloween, which I feel lends credence to this being a vampire movie.”

Film Review: “The Kid Detective” (2020)

“Maybe there’s more nobility in giving up.”

A fun detective story entry into the millennial ennui (millennui) genre that uses its ‘Encyclopedia Brown but older and sad” premise to great and sometimes surprising effect, allowing the movie to break away from any Veronica Mars and Brick comparisons. It also hits all the noir beats it needs to with classic moody shots and a soundtrack that’s heavy on the smooth noir sax.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Has anyone coined the term ‘millennui’ for the genre that shows like Search Party and movies like this belong to yet? I’m not even going to Google it because I want the little bit of serotonin that comes with thinking I’ve come up with something original. That’s the stuff!”