Writer. Library person. First in the world to platinum Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two on PS3.
“This is a vile misuse of tax dollars.”
A bright, high energy spy comedy with a pretty well developed and tactful message of peace over violence that’s not afraid to get super weird with the constant antics (pigeon or otherwise).
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Unexpectedly, this might be the movie everyone should watch right now amidst all the doom, gloom, uncertainty and World War III memes.”
“I think you are the most annoying person.”
An ill-fated odyssey and masterwork of mounting tension that tripled my naturally tripled anxiety levels then squared them.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “The answer to all our collective troubles is high-stakes gambling and basketball.”
∞
“I can’t say this enough. We’re in a video game.”
As much of a solid, fun time as the last one, with yet more chances for these good-looking actors to play against type and do silly stuff, featuring some added wrinkles (because old people) to keep things semi-fresh.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “I’d like to see Dwayne Johnson beat all the Organization XIII data battles in Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix on Critical Mode. That’s the next level, Dwayne. Robin Williams could do it.”
“I cried like four times.”
While this perfectly acted drama (and sorta comedy?) absolutely approaches “oh, these poor privileged people” territory at times, even that gives us an opportunity to see just how much the towering system of uncoupling we have seems to be designed to breed as much contempt as possible between two people who maybe loved each other once.
My VHS cover pull-quote: I only just recently got married, but I really hope my divorce is as well-written as this one. Noah Baumbach won’t return me or my wife’s calls.
“Terrible job, sir!”
The Star Wars movies have almost always been wildly and lovingly inconsistent, so let’s all just chillaxamundo and enjoy this fairly satisfying Star War spectacular that gives us some of the best C-3PO sass lines of this or any generation.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Not as good as anything any of us watched when we were children filled with hope and optimism.”
“We protect us. We do. Nobody else.”
A legal thriller that finds a Mark Ruffalo-shaped bottle of hope pushing back against the power of corporate behemoths that don’t care about us, our children, or even our beautiful, innocent cows. It feels as much like a call to action as it does a call on our Teflon covered telephone to tell us we’re probably powerless and screwed so we should just lay down on the floor.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “It actually looks and plays a little like an episode of the late 70s Incredible Hulk show, only without the fury of Lou Ferrigno to round out the hour. All we get is the righteous fury of Mark Ruffalo, which will have to do.”
“Genocide, shmenocide.”
Had I known Idris Elba said the word “genocide” then followed that up with “shmenocide” in Hobbs and Shaw, I wouldn’t have waited so long to see it.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Nothing else happens in this movie.”
“I fibbed a little about not killing you.”
A dark, punk comedy where each character is just so damn likable that you don’t mind any of the cracked and heinous shit they’re doing.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “I wouldn’t mind being murdered so much if the killers were polite and filled with folksy wisdom about relationships.”
“I should feel something.”
Rapturous. Splendid. Fathers. Sons. Made me want to go find my dad in deep space even though he died in 2005.
My VHS cover pull-quote: “Seriously, our dads are out there and we have to go reunite with them. Even if you think your dad/father figure/person whose image you think you’ve not lived up to is here on Earth, that’s probably not really them. So saddle up on a rocket, get some good tears going, and let’s go to Neptune to find them. I’ll bring snacks (feeding tubes to staple into our stomachs).”
“What, do you want to go back to minimum wage?”
A high-energy, slick as heck heist flick that explores the allure and pitfalls of power, capitalism, and drugging some grade-a assholes to steal their money.
My VHS cover pull-quote: at one point in this movie someone says “2007 was the fucking best!” I graduated from high school in 2007 and, while that was cool, I disagree that it made the year the fucking best year. Still a great movie though.”
Nick Perilli