Film Review: “Extra Ordinary” (2019)

“Even the weakest ghost can possess cheese easily, due to the living bacteria in the cheese.”

A sweet, fresh gem of a supernatural Irish comedy that you should watch over and over again until you vomit ectoplasm.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “This is one of those movies where a VHS cover pull-quote fits right in with the aesthetic of the film, putting a lot of weight on these VHS cover pull-quotes — elevating them, even. Like Be Kind, Rewind or V/H/S. Well, I can’t handle that weight at all. I’m buckling under it! Just see the movie! It’s one of the most charming films I’ve seen in a long time, grabbing your attention with a fine mix of Ghostbusters style antics and small bursts of bloody fun, but keeping it with the well-drawn characters and lo-fi aesthetic. Oh, shit. I did it!”

Film Review: “Spies in Disguise” (2019)

“This is a vile misuse of tax dollars.”

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A bright, high energy spy comedy with a pretty well developed and tactful message of peace over violence that’s not afraid to get super weird with the constant antics (pigeon or otherwise).

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Unexpectedly, this might be the movie everyone should watch right now amidst all the doom, gloom, uncertainty and World War III memes.”

Film Review: “Little Women” (2019)

“I can’t believe childhood is over.”

An impressive adaptation that plays with the structure of the source material to draw the novel’s stark parallels between cold, distant adulthood and bright, sunlit childhood while also weaving a lovely meta thread through it all.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “I really like to think I’m a Jo, but I’m probably much more of a Meg and it’s time I admitted that to myself and my loved ones.”

Film Review: “Jumanji: The Next Level” (2019)

“I can’t say this enough. We’re in a video game.”

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As much of a solid, fun time as the last one, with yet more chances for these good-looking actors to play against type and do silly stuff, featuring some added wrinkles (because old people) to keep things semi-fresh.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “I’d like to see Dwayne Johnson beat all the Organization XIII data battles in Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix on Critical Mode. That’s the next level, Dwayne. Robin Williams could do it.”

Film Review: “Ad Astra” (2019)

“I should feel something.”

Rapturous. Splendid. Fathers. Sons. Made me want to go find my dad in deep space even though he died in 2005.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Seriously, our dads are out there and we have to go reunite with them. Even if you think your dad/father figure/person whose image you think you’ve not lived up to is here on Earth, that’s probably not really them. So saddle up on a rocket, get some good tears going, and let’s go to Neptune to find them. I’ll bring snacks (feeding tubes to staple into our stomachs).”

Film Review: “Hustlers” (2019)

“What, do you want to go back to minimum wage?”

A high-energy, slick as heck heist flick that explores the allure and pitfalls of power, capitalism, and drugging some grade-a assholes to steal their money.

My VHS cover pull-quote: at one point in this movie someone says “2007 was the fucking best!” I graduated from high school in 2007 and, while that was cool, I disagree that it made the year the fucking best year. Still a great movie though.”

Film Review: “IT: Chapter Two (2019)

“Hey, come back to Derry and get murdered.”

This is humongous, epic, ultimately triumphant horror fantasy that — while not terrifying — is whimsically gruesome and allowed to lean hard into the cocaine fueled turns of the source material.

My VHS cover pull-quote: “Can we talk about across-the-board perfect casting? Okay, this has it. It also has a swelling, bleeding, plucked from a chest heart that will make you believe in shit again.”